As we know all close relationships go through highs and lows. With the constant pressures of everyday life—family responsibilities, financial strain, parenting challenges, or simply not having enough time—it’s no surprise that many couples can hit rough patches.

What Is Couples or Relationship Counselling?

“Feeling secure, happy, and connected in our relationship is essential for our emotional wellbeing,” says relationship expert Arabella Russell.

By the time most couples seek therapy, those positive feelings have often been replaced by conflict, distance, or emotional pain. Relationship counselling offers a supportive, non-judgmental space to explore what’s gone wrong and how to move forward.

The goal isn’t to blame or take sides—it’s about helping both partners reconnect emotionally. Counselling with me helps couples listen to each other in new ways, improve communication, and build a stronger, healthier relationship.

Who Can Benefit From Couples Counselling?

I believe that couples counselling is for couple who want to understand their own emotions and their relationship.

Counselling gives you space to explore your emotions and look at the patterns shaping how you relate to your partner.  In addition it can also help you process past relationship trauma, loss, or unresolved issues.

Arabella adds, “This isn’t just for couples in crisis. Think of it like a service for your relationship—just like you’d service a car to keep it running smoothly.”

Common Issues Couples Bring to Counselling

Couples seek therapy for many reasons, including:

• Communication breakdown

• Loss of intimacy

• Jealousy or trust issues

• Infidelity

• Family tensions

• Work stress or money worries

• Major life changes

The pressures of the COVID-19 lockdowns also had an impact. “For many couples, spending more time together while isolated from others was a real challenge,” says Vasia. “It made some people question how fulfilling their relationship really is.”

How Does Couples Counselling Work?

At its core, couples counselling offers a safe environment to explore what’s not working—and why.

Our behaviours in relationships often trace back to our early experiences. Therapy helps uncover how the past is influencing the present.

“We might not realise it, but a strong emotional reaction—like feeling deeply hurt when a partner doesn’t listen—can be tied to childhood experiences,” Arabella explains. “Understanding this doesn’t excuse harmful behaviour, but it does help us make sense of our feelings.”

Vasia adds, “A therapist can help identify unhealthy patterns and give you tools to express yourself clearly, set boundaries, and rebuild your connection.”

What Counselling Can’t Do

While couples therapy can be transformative, it’s not a quick fix.

“Some people come in expecting therapy to magically solve everything or make their partner change,” says Vasia. “But real change only happens when both partners are willing to put in the effort.”

Arabella echoes this: “A therapist can guide you, but the couple has to do the hard work. If both people are committed, therapy can help create a strong, secure, and loving relationship.”

Sometimes, however, the healthiest outcome is separation. In these cases, counselling can support couples through the process with compassion and clarity.

“It won’t erase the pain, but it helps couples understand what went wrong and how to part ways constructively—especially important when children are involved,” says Arabella.

Choosing the Right Therapist

Kathleen Daymond, from the counselling advisory team, emphasises the importance of finding a therapist who’s trained in working with couples.

“Therapy with a couple is different from working with just one person,” she says. “The therapist needs to balance both individuals and the dynamics between them. You both need to feel comfortable and heard, so don’t hesitate to speak with a few professionals before deciding.”